Week 17

Source:  http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/Pregnancy/calendar/week/17

Your baby's weight has doubled in two weeks and now weighs about 3.5 ounces! The crown-to-rump length of your growing baby is 4.4 to 4.8 inches. If you spread your hand out opened wide, you can see about how big your baby is. 

Your uterus is moving up and is now approximately 1.5 to 2 inches below your navel. You are showing more now and there is a noticeable swelling in your abdomen. At this point in your pregnancy, a 5 to 10 pound weight gain is normal. Other people can probably feel the difference in your lower abdomen if they were to rub your tummy. To be the most comfortable, you should be wearing maternity clothes or clothing that is too large for you. You may have felt your baby move already. However, you might not feel it move every day at this point. As your pregnancy progresses, movements become stronger and more frequent. Feeling your baby move can help reassure you that your baby is doing well. You might also notice that your gums or nose bleed occasionally. This is from the increased blood volume that puts pressure on small blood vessels and capillaries.

Huge changes continue to take place within your developing baby. This week fat begins to form and will continue to do so until he is born. Fat is important to the body's heat production and metabolism. Right now, at 17 weeks, water makes up about 3 ounces and fat 0.018 ounces of your baby's body. In a baby at term, fat makes up about 5.25 pounds of the total average weight of 7.7 pounds. The placenta is continuing to grow at an amazing rate. The placenta will continue to develop in tandem with the fetus and it will weigh more than a pound at birth! By this week, the placenta is large and well established with a network of blood vessels that exchange nutrients and waste. 

the eyes are facing more forward. The ears are now close to their final position.  Your baby is more flexible with ability to move head, mouth, lips, arms, wrists, hands, legs, feet, and toes.  Fingerprints are forming now.

2/3 Update (not a lot of news...)

I know some of you have been checking this blog to see if there have been any updates...  So I thought I would write some quick thoughts down, even though I don't know much of anything new.

• My next appt. with my doctor is on February 16th - but that is just a normal checkup, no ultrasound or anything. 
• Then on February 25th, I have the 20-week appt., at the other place (where they have good equipment.)  They will do an ultrasound and check for growth, abnormalities and the sex of the baby.  Joe will be able to go with me for this appointment, so that is good.  I think we have decided to have them mark a card (regarding the sex) and then go out to dinner and open it that night.

I am still taking this one day at a time...  not getting overly excited or allowing myself to think much about things.  I just had a friend tell me that he and his wife lost their baby at 5 months, so you just never know.

There are some practical things we have to consider though...  daycare plans (preparing financially), what to do about adoption #2, etc...  So we are working through all of that right now.  We have the complete approvals to move ahead with our Haiti adoption #2 (not normal when pregnant, but they are making an exception.)  But we are still praying about everything right now.  It seems Haitian adoption "might" be moving along faster and they are just concerned about the timing of it all.  But maybe this is when you give it to God?  I don't know...

I am not really showing yet.  I can tell there is a bump there (and I feel the changes), but no one else can (well, maybe when I am buck naked, but I don't happen to walk around like that!)  :-)  I haven't told anyone at work or our friends (other than those of you reading this.)  I am not sure what is going to prompt me to do that - maybe when I just can't hide it anymore?  I guess am just in no rush to share the news...

All for now...  thanks for your love, support and continued prayers!

1/14 Doctor Visit

Quick Summary:  Heartbeat at 170bpm

I had a routine check-up with my regular doctor today (Haitian doc.)  I hadn’t met with her since early December, so she was happy to see things were going normal with my pregnancy.

We spent a lot of time talking about Haiti (given the earthquake anniversary.)  I always appreciate getting her perspective on things.  She is very disappointed with the way things have been handled and says the people of Haiti have lost hope of ever seeing the money used to help change the country for good.  It’s a very sad situation…

Next we talked about the odds for Down Syndrome…  as it turns out the next blood test (February) won’t give any additional results for Down Syndrome.  She said because we aren’t looking to make decisions on keeping the baby or not (which is why people would often chose to do the testing as early as possible - which by the way is hard for me to even comprehend… but that is another topic…)   That we could wait until the 20 week ultrasound and there are some things to look for that might be related to Down Syndrome (heartbeat, fingers, etc…)  It wouldn’t be definitive, but might give us more information.  She said at that point we could still do an amniocentesis if we wanted to.  She said she would recommend doing the amnio now, if I were really stressed over it and it would be better for me to know for sure.  But we both agreed I wasn’t really in this state – I am just taking this one day at a time.

Finally, she got our the handheld device to listen to the heartbeat.  It is always so reassuming to hear it – there is no other way to really know that things are okay right now.  It was “strong” in her words, at 170bpm.  She said all was regular and good with it.

Next step will be the blood draw on 2/1 to finish out the sequential screening.

Sequential Screening Update

I just got a call regarding the Down Syndrome and Trisomy part of the test…  At this point I am still sort of processing it in my mind.

Trisomy 18:  Odds came back 1:10,000, so really no risk there.

Down Syndrome:  Odds came back 1:28.  Anything above 1:50 would come back “TEST POSITIVE”, which means they can offer amniocentesis or the CVS test to confirm with accuracy.  I also have the 2^nd blood screen scheduled in early February which might give us more info.

Hmm…  not sure how I am feeling.  Typically 3.5% odds for something would seem pretty low to me – very low risk.  But in this case, it does make me step back and take a breath.  But getting either an amniocentesis or the CVS done also presents miscarriage odds of about 1%.  And with my history, I am not excited about self-inducing any issues.

I guess Joe and I will discuss next steps – on whether to test further.  I am not sure the risk is worth the peace-of-mind or not.  It won’t change the outcome of our path - we will love this baby no matter what.  Will keep you posted.

January 4th: Sequential Screening Update

Vital Stats:

• Heart beat 169
• Crown to Rump Measurement: 6.5 centimeters

The appointment took about an hour and 45 minutes… mostly because there are multiple steps and different people to meet with. We started with the genetics counselor who walked us through the test, logistics and family history. She didn’t see any “red flags” and told us she hoped she would be the one to bring us good news for a change. She could sense we were very tentative and cautious about everything right now.

We then went in to see Steve for the ultrasound. His primary goal was to measure fluid in the spine and see if the baby’s fluid was in the right range. He also measured the size, etc… So we got to see the baby again and hear the heartbeat. He took a lot of pictures and sent us home with about 15! He also said that things looked to be in-line with the fluid and in the range of normal. He wouldn’t make a guess on the sex, as he said it’s just too early to be accurate and didn’t want to disappoint either way. So I guess that one will wait until the next ultrasound, which won’t be until week 20 or something like that.

Then it was time for the blood-draw with Kelly. I opted for the vial vs. the finger poke, because she said sometimes it is hard when people have cold fingers and she might have to poke a lot… given I am ALWAYS freezing, I decided that I would rather get it over with in the arm. They will be testing for ranges of Down Syndrome and Cystic Fibrosis (if I am a carrier.) I will have the results for Downs, next week and CF in about 10 days. I will also have another blood draw on February 2nd where they will measure again (they measure twice as things progress.) If it came back that I were “test positive” – it doesn’t mean the baby would have Downs, but that the risk is higher and at that point would make the decision about an amniocentesis or not.

Next was meeting with a Dr. Tomlinson, who just went over everything we had been through and confirmed that things looked in-line...  and that the next blood draw would give us even more confidence.

It was amazing to see the ultrasound this time around (well, I guess I could say that about all of them so far.) But the development has been quite amazing… we could clearly see fingers, toes, the heart, stomach, spine, etc…

So… it was good news all around… but we are still so hesitant to believe things are really going to be okay. I am not sure when that will happen – maybe after it is born (if we make it that far...)

First View

Pretty Incredible

Little Feet!

Hand...  Waving at us.  :-)

12/29 Update (11.4 weeks)

Short version: 
All seems to be moving along as it should

Long version: 
We saw a doctor who is covering for Dr. Jean-Baptiste today.  I liked her - she was nice.  We didn't have a lot to discuss, but she did let me know that all my previous labs +PAP came back normal, so that was good.  And she used the little hand-held heartbeat monitor...  The heartbeat was strong and was about 180bpm (we could hear it really well.)

I was also scheduled for the sequential screen this coming Tuesday (done at the other building with the good ultrasound equipment.)  They combine this with bloodwork and are able to get early information for birth defects like Downs and Trisomy 18 (they do this for "advanced age" women.)   They advised me that the appointment will take 2 hours - good grief!

So... that's that.  Both Joe and I are still feeling like this isn't happening. 
One day at a time... 

After the appointment we went out to lunch, which was really nice.  It's rare we are "sans Samuel" (he is at school today) and able to get away - especially during the day, given we are usually at work.

I guess my next update will be on Tuesday evening... 

12/16 PM Update

I met with the doctor-of-the-day – she was very nice, pleasant and showed care/concern.  She said I absolutely did the right thing by calling this morning.  She did a quick check on me and then told me her preference would be to send me to the ultrasound place (different building, with really good equipment) so that they could look for any abnormalities and/or see areas of concern.  She also said she wanted me to go in for another blood draw so we could start tracking my HCG levels again.  She did let me know that from my blood work yesterday, my type came back A+, which means I don’t need to worry about getting the shot for Rh incompatibility.  (On a side note:  I can’t believe with all I have been through in the past that I didn’t know/remember my blood type!)

So…  I went over to the ultrasound place and they got me right in (clearly the doc has “pull” as it usually take me 2-3 weeks to get scheduled!)  Anyway, the technician did the ultrasound and we immediately spotted the heartbeat, which was at about 179bpm.  And the little legs/arms were moving around too…  it measured about 3.15cm.  She looked all around for bleeding or other issues, and she said that it might be a vessel that broke, but nothing seemed like a huge red flag to her.  She was very happy to leave me with this picture and some good news.

I then went and had my blood drawn (by the same woman as yesterday, who wondered why I had to endure 2 days in a row of this…)  

Another roller coaster morning.  I am not sure my heart/head can continually go through these “scares.” 

I am tired out.

The doctor should call this afternoon, just to confirm things are really “ok” for now…

12/16 Morning Update

Well... I woke up to more bleeding this morning.  It was significant enough to have me pretty concerned. 

So we called the answering service, who paged the doctor-on-call.  We talked through things and she thought it best that I go back into the office for an evaluation today.  Unfortunately my doctor is out of the office on Thursday's, so I will be seeing another doctor at 9:45am.

Feeling kind of low...  afraid of what this means.  I am also afraid of "crying wolf" if this turns out to be nothing...  but it just doesn't seem right.  More scared than anything...

First Doctor Visit Update

It has been a rollercoaster of a morning…

Joe took ½ a day off today so he could go to my doctor’s appt today (I was so thankful he could do that.)  We got Samuel dropped off at school and then he dropped me off at work, while he did a little Christmas shopping…  He was to pick me up at 9:30am.

So, I decided to go to the bathroom before he picked me up.  I was shocked when I saw that I was bleeding a bit…  I had literally just walked out of the bathroom when Joe called to say he was waiting in the parking lot…  I got in the car feeling completely numb – everything about bleeding says “BAD” in my mind.  And by the time I got to the doctor’s office, I was in tears.  Joe and I hardly said a word the whole way there.

When the nurse called my name, I was crying (trying to contain myself, but you know how your mind takes off sometimes) and when I told her what happened she told us not to worry until we got past the exam…  she took my vitals and then we waited for my doctor.

So when Dr. Jean-Baptiste came in, she already knew what was going on…. We had to work through the normal background questions/process and she did a PAP and checked my overall health. 

We then FINALLY got to the ultrasound. 

Joe and I were staring at the screen, holding our breath…  and then we saw the heartbeat.  She turned up the volume so we could hear it; she said it was about 170bpm.  And then we actually saw it kicking its feet and moving its arms…  she said it was quite an active little thing for 9.5 weeks (in a good way.)  She said she didn’t see any clotting or other areas of concern.  We also talked through genetics testing (blood-work) options.

But, she said until we hit 12 weeks or so, we all need to be “reserved and continue to pray.”  she wants me to come back on December 29th (she will be on vacation, but will have me see another doctor.)   And then again on January 14^th (which is more frequent than the normal cadence - and I am thankful for that...)   She said to add vitamin D and fish oil to my pill regimen.

I then went up to a lab and had some blood-work done, and we headed back to work.  I think we both are feeling a bit shaken up and uneasy right now…  but also relieved.   It is so hard to relax given my history... every day we get through is a miracle to me.

No Real Updates...

I realize I haven't been saying much of anything on this blog... sorry.  I guess it has just been a long waiting game since my last post - and I have been trying to stay in the space of "reserved hope."  I hit 9 weeks on Saturday, which still means I am in the danger-zone.  My first miscarriage happened around 10-11 weeks, so I am still very concerned at this point.

I guess there really hasn't been any good or bad news - I am just waiting for my appointment this Wednesday.  Joe is going to try to be there as well, though he had to use a sick day today (because he was truly sick!)  So we will see how it all works out.  I hope he can be there.

The Only Updates I Have (sorry!):
I am taking progesterone, baby aspirin and prenatal vitamins.  I am really, really tired during the day.  I crave FRUIT of any kind, but I can't stand the thought of vegetables (which is so odd because I love veggies!)  I get nauseous quite a bit, but not to the point of getting outwardly sick (thank goodness!)  My love of Starbucks has gone away (can you believe this?!)  I now only have vanilla steamers...  the thought of anything else makes me want to throw-up.  :-)

I will post more on Wednesday, once we have some more meaningful data!  :-)

Update on the Meds

Well, it was another shuffle yesterday, with calls to one pharmacy, who didn’t have the meds…  So the doctor’s office called it into another pharmacy.  Then they called back and said they changed their minds and wanted me on another kind.  So should they call back to the original pharmacy?  Good grief… 

Joe then went to pick it up on his way home and of course they hadn’t even started to fill it (8 hours later!)  So he came home, had dinner and went back later.  What a pain.  But the great news is that this version only cost us $20 vs. $400…  I would say it was worth the hassle!

Why Bother Paying for Insurance?

I am going to be blunt and honest as I go along on this blog…  because this part of my life seems to hit walls in every direction.

Joe stopped to pickup my progesterone prescription and they told him AFTER insurance, it would cost us $400!  WHAT?  Are you kidding me?  I am double covered on insurance with both of our workplaces (with really good insurance.)  Something is not right in this world.

He is going to check to make sure they have the right insurance info… but if not – this is crazy.   I am being treated for medical reasons and they don’t cover this… really?!   I realize I am being overly-dramatic (hey... I can vent on occasion, right?) - it just seems like one battle after another in this area of life.

Doctor Office Call

My doctor’s office just called me and my OB/GYN wants me to start progesterone and baby aspirin.  I was wondering why she hadn’t done something like that yet.  After going to OHSU (for IVF) and being monitored and watched constantly, with blood-work and ultrasounds at every corner… this all feels so strange.  I was on progesterone from the start and levels were being measured.  I would literally go in every 2-3 days when I was going through those treatments.

But…  I guess this is how the “normal” people do it, eh?.  J  

At least I know my doctor hasn’t forgotten about me…  But December 15^th feels like forever away.  SIGH.

Doctor Called...

Dr. Jean-Baptiste called me a little while ago...  we had a nice talk about my situation, Haiti, Samuel, etc... I always enjoy visiting with her.

She completely understands why I am in the "cautiously optimistic" stage and agrees that it is early.  But she did say that she had reviewed the ultrasound results and that everything looks to be in line with the dates and there is no bleeding or anything of concern at this point.  She said:  "just put the past behind you - and look forward; we know it's not in your hands at this point."

So she wanted to see me in 2 weeks, but her assistant just called and they can't get me in to see her until December 15th.  So I will wait...  My biggest fear is that something will go wrong between now and then (meaning I will have to endure something bad on my own.)  Not something I want to go through EVER again.

I was supposed to go on a business trip to San Jose, but decided it is best if I just stick around home for the next few weeks (sorry Jody!)  I would hate to be on the road if something were to happen.

Okay... all for now.  Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!
Love,
Jill

Ultrasound #2

I will preface this email in saying part of me doesn’t even want to post updates or information regarding this pregnancy.  I am still very much in the mode of not really believing this is going to turn out positive.  That doesn’t mean I don’t HOPE or  believe in miracles… I just have a hard time investing emotions into something that has been caused so much pain in the past.  And obviously not sharing this with anyone but a handful of friends/family.

However, I consider myself a “realist” so the facts are what they are… and as of today, the little blob is 5mm (up from 2mm last Thursday.)  And the heartbeat is at 120bpm (up from 96 last Thursday.)

I need to call my doctor's office today and see what they want me to do next - I haven't even seen her at this point (just ultrasound techs.)  We tried to stop in there after the ultrasound this morning (mostly just to have her meet Samuel…  my OB/GYN is Haitian and has wanted to meet him since he arrived home!)  But unfortunately she was in surgery.

Ultrasound Update

I have updated info (sooner than expected on the 23rd.)  I called the doctor about getting another blood-test (for hCG levels) before next Tuesday…  My doctor, Dr. Jean-Baptise  and her nurse don’t work today, so another nurse worked with another doctor and they called me around 2:20pm and asked if I could get in for an ultrasound at 3:50pm TODAY.  They pulled some kind of string because the techs at this center (last I heard) didn't want do do an ultrasound until it was at least 6 weeks...  However, my doctor's office believes that once the levels have reached at least 2000, some type of development is expected to be seen using high resolution vaginal ultrasound...  Anyway they got me in...

I had to gulp down water right before, which I HATE doing... and then it made me freezing cold (I have issues with circulation.)  So during the u/s I was literally shaking the whole time.

I had the nicest tech, who talked through "our story" and the Haiti piece, etc...  When she got to the picture (I could see on the screen) she said - "looks like there is a little munchkin in there."  And then we both saw the heartbeat.  She said the yolk sac looks good as well as the gestational sac (for right now anyway.)  She was very positive with it all...  but I remain cautiously optimistic...  honestly, I am still numb and without much feeling right now.  I know there is a long road to go and I have had so many issues at this point before...   the heartbeat was around 96, which she said was a bit low, but not to be concerned.  She walked me out and asked if she could give me a hug - very sweet, as I needed to let out some sort of emoption at that point.  I sort of felt very alone in all of this today.

So, I don't know what happens from here.  I imagine I will be monitered a lot, given my history.  But I need to call my OB/GYN tomorrow.

Ultrasound on 23rd

I sort of got the run-around from the facility that does the ultrasounds.  They didn’t have the paperwork from my doctor (3 hours later.)  But the scheduler said she would work me in anyway… then she asked how far along I was.  And then she was very hesitant because she said the techs normally like to have minimum be 6-7 weeks (I should be around 5.1)  So I then called back my OB/GYN’s assistant who said she would call them for me (I really like working with her – pleasant…)

 

I am now scheduled for an ultrasound to measure “size and viability” on the 23^rd.  SIGH.  Seems like forever away…  And it was around Day 42 (I am around 38 now) when I had bleeding before.  L  It’s going to be a long week.

Blood Test Results

The doctor’s office just called and my results came back at 8,400 hCG, which she said was high enough for an ultrasound… so I called over, but they didn't have the paperwork yet (even though my OB/GYN said to call right away...)  Whatever.

Here is a chart for hCG levels – pretty broad ranges.

 

New Chapter: Unexpected Addition

To the few who I am sharing these details with:

I have found it really helpful to be able to go back to my previous blog posts and read about my feelings, what the doctor's said, measurements, etc... so I decided I needed to write this stuff down again.  And as long as I am doing that, I figured it is also a good way to share info with you guys as I get it...

On Friday (11/12) I just had this feeling while at work....  like I should get a pregnancy test.  I was only a week or so overdue (which doesn't mean a lot for me given I am all over the map with my cycle.)  But I went at lunchtime and got a cheap test - thinking it wasn't worth wasting money because they always turn out negative...  but this one came back with a VERY faint pink line, which had me wondering if it was the cheap test or really meant something.  So I thought about it all afternoon.

Joe and I talked about it at home and he decided we needed to get a "good" test, so he went to the store and got 2 of the good digital versions...  I took that one and it too, came back reading "Pregnant."

What?  Really?  More than anything this just scares me.  After having been through 2 miscarriages - it's hard to get excited about being pregnant.  It's all based on fear of facing that all over again.  Not once have I had a successful pregnancy, so it's all I know.  FEAR.

AND... as it turns out, Joe and I had just made the decision to move forward (or try) on a second Haiti adoption.  We had a meeting scheduled to update our Homestudy and had just done our psychological exam.  We had started down the road.  The same thing happened right after we got Samuel's referral (pregnancy and then miscarriage.)  Why?  I don't know why it happened.  It doesn't make sense.  If I end up remaining pregnant - SUPER!  But if I have a miscarriage - I just don't understand why...  what is the point of this?

Anyway - I took another OTC test yesterday (just to be sure) and it came back positive once again.  So I called my OB/GYN's office and the message service paged the doctor-on-call, who ordered lab work.  I went to the hospital lab around 9:30am this morning and had that done...  now I am just waiting to hear from them.

I am just numb right now - sort of in this surreal mental place.  Wishing time would stop and also wishing it would fly by so I would know the outcome.  I am trying to hope for the best, but it's so hard to do when you have had nothing but failure and pain in this area of life.

I would appreciate prayers - that no matter what the outcome, I can stay strong and get through it all.

June 2009 Update: OHSU

We ended up going to going to OHSU last Thursday; just to follow-up and either “close the file” or discuss next steps. Joe and I met with Dr. Patton and discussed quite a few items (miscarriages, adoption, etc…) He is still trying to determine root cause issues with regard to my situation. After talking through things he wants to look at a couple of items.

1) Clotting issues
2) boy miscarriages sometimes are associated with immune system issues
3) checking my uterus again (odd shape)

I put the clotting issue details below – sort of interesting. Both my mom and grandmother had clotting issues, so he wants to explore that, as well as the fact my miscarriage was a boy. So I had to give 6 vials of blood… The worst part of it was that the phlebotomist got 5 and took everything out of my arm, and then realized he needed one more. Ugh! L I HATE getting blood taken.

Cardiolipin antibodies and Infertility
Because of the high numbers of infertile women suffering from increased cardiolipin antibodies, it is now thought that immune system antibodies might play a major role in preventing conception. Though studies conflict on the subject, many reports indicate that women with cardiolipin antibodies have a harder time getting pregnant and carrying their pregnancies to term. This may be because anti-cardiolipin antibodies can cause tiny blood clots, preventing blood from flowing to the reproductive organs or placenta.